Suck It

Carpe Diem is not rubbish. It is the way of the person that lives the life right in front of them to the fullest.

I want to be like that.

I don’t want to fully experience only the celebrations and major events in my timeline. I want to make the most of it all: highs and lows.

Also, I want to stop thinking about all the things I want to do and just do them instead. What is the point of a thought that cannot or does not become action? I have these thoughts all the time, many of them begin with “if”. Why can’t I reframe these ideas with “when” and actually make things happen?  There are so many little steps I can take in the right direction.

I am constantly thinking about how to live but in the process I am missing actually living. Ironic, no?

I hate that I squander the little moments instead of savouring them.  I know I am missing out on the joy of each day thinking, if I can just get through this or that, or if I can just finish this then I’ll live. Classic waiting-for-the-bell syndrome.

But laundry is life. Vacations are life. Illness is life. Dancing is life. A crying baby is life. Good conversations are life. Marking papers is life (for teachers, anyway).

Whatever the circumstance, it, too, is an aspect of living and I might as well decide to welcome it, and chose to accept the whole package as part of my experience here on this earth.

I don’t want to look back and wonder how I missed living in the midst of it all.  Thinking something else was coming.

Thoreau wrote that he "wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life”.

So that’s my plan.  Time to suck it.